Hard, harder, the hardest

Dear men, this post is not about penises, it's about choices. If I quote Berry Schwartz; "Learning to choose is hard. Learning to choose well is harder. And learning to choose well in a world if unlimited possibilities is harder still, perhaps too hard."
I believe the foreground of too many sexual encounters is based on "taking a chance" instead of "making a conscious choice". I confess; I've been quite naive when it comes to sexual connections myself. I somehow made myself believe that people who are able to connect to me in a moment will also be able to hold respect for me and themselves when the moment shall pass. Reality was different- it was a show (not from my side). Sex is one of the quickest ways to bring old unconscious patterns to the surface. Transforming them demands effort and commitment from both sides.
I am noticing that lot of people aren't willing to be respectful to the deep feminine. This is where most (if not all of the neotantric workshops and education) fail and I can say that with firm belief as I've entered the european arena of teaching in 2014. Sexual relationships in the West are foregrounded and idealized instead of deeply felt, cherished and mutually nourishing. As a woman who is slowly entering the fourth decade of her life I dare to acknowledge that I never wanted to be instantly picked or quickly forgotten. I always yearned to have the opportunity to choose a man I would like to get closer with. I yearn to get to know him over time and through different levels of awareness. For me sex is connected to spiritual language of love and longevity. Its words as well as partner(s) need to be selected carefully so as to communicate and commune on all possible levels and dimensions. As chinese saying goes 神明共鉴 shénmíng gòng jiàn- Let gods examine our hearts.