Just for the record; I'm not into BDSM.
I practice BTSM instead. I practice Healing through BreathTouchSoundMovement. This is what the pillars of tantric work are and I wish I wouldn't be getting calls from men asking me to take-a-leak for them to grab-a-drink.... or me.
No offence, but authentic tantra has nothing to do with bondage, domination, sadism (or submission) and masochism. There is no place for sub and dom in a place of healthy self-esteem. To develop it, one needs to be willing to let go of control for real. Each person has his or her essence. There is no race or contest. There is only a test. A test in cultivation of ones own garden. A garden which does not smell of NH3. It smells of the fragrance of love between mystery and maturity. The cultivation of ones own garden is 养生法 (yangshenfa). A key to yangshengfa/ maintaining good health is in conserving one's vital powers. So let me conserve mine by declaring my boundaries; I am not open to receive calls from men who are not willing to unlearn what they've learnt about sex from porn, magazines and science.