Sexual attraction vs. Sexual agenda

10/07/2021
Wouldn't the world be a magical place if our lover wouldn't be considered "friend with benefits", but instead he/she would be(come) our "bosom buddy" in other words- our BFF?
This is something I tried to deliberately "achieve" over the years but it seemed to slip through my fingers as I allowed myself to slip into bad habits.
It was a habit of believing that I don't get to choose. A habit of believing that I've been chosen by a man who approached me with big dreams, aspirations and sexual attraction. These kind of men used their honeyed charm so effectively that they managed to lull me.
The gulf that seems to separate the sexes is an illusion.
An illusion which provoked my worst habit; allowing wrong kind of men to enter my life, my body and my energy field. Men who needed something to merely fill a hole in their life. They weren't men who would, like me, aspire to feel whole. They only liked me, similar to the way I like icecream.
What I have and possess over the years is the advantage of breadth of experience.
True friendship requires a conscious effort; both parties need to be willing to make the time, take risks and be vulnerable. We cannot do that if a person we're connecting with only knows how to push our trigger buttons, but isn't willing to push refresh button as well. To push a refresh button means to be willing to see a person or a situation with fresh eyes.
What prevents most women from friendships with men are not their sexual feelings and attraction, but their sexual agendas. Spoken or unspoken- they all make certain parts of our bodies, psyches and souls fragmented.
Dependent, needy, manipulative and resentful men will never inspire a Conscious woman to keep on going.